it's funny how people are so similar

so.. in my aerobic pe class.. i met a new friend name *jane doe*.. shes very soft spoken and a really cool girl.. but it's funny.. never would i think that our walks of life would be so parallel..

she had her boyfriend since freshman year (3 years) and so did i.. they recently broke up.. just like how i recently broke up.. she lived with her ex and moved out.. and so did i.. she lived in south davis and i lived in south davis.. we both moved to north davis after the break up.. we both just recently found closure for ourselves.. 

iono why but it's just so weird.. never would i have thought that we would have to much in common.. i feel like im so "everywhere" and herp derp and shes so composed.. it's funny.. you really cant judge people because you never know that the other person can relate to you more than anyone else..

keeping busy

17 units for the first time ever.. got 16 hours worth of work.. 8AM - 8PM daily.. of course.. waking up at 7AM.. getting home at 830PM.. exhausted!

lost another lil..

2/17/12 << random date

ive literally lost it all.. the one thing that i truly was happy with.. i lost.. my lil bro.. evan chen..

ever since the whole mess with me and dealing with all my personal problems.. i lost him in the process.. i am sure as heck that if i had to deal with someone who had problems as extreme as mine.. i wouldnt want to bother them either.. the thing is.. all my problems have seemingly been sorted out and ive been trying to reconnect with people.. most importantly.. my apo lil..

my relationship with my first lil.. christine young.. was short lived.. but i love her regardless.. shes so sweet, but always busy.. and i understand that.. but evan.. hes not busy.. he was like the ideal lil bro i could have ever asked for..

he kept me awake when i found out i had a 4-6 page paper due in less than 8 hours.. he crashed at my place when he was drunk.. we beat up each other.. played pranks on each other.. he visited me in my hometown.. i visited his hometown.. but sadly.. this was all so short lived.. 

i tried to talk to him.. but he doesnt respond.. i saw him on monday at tabling.. and i tried to talk to him.. he ignored me and said that he had to leave.. but he was still there when i left myself.. then earlier today at baskin robbins.. i saw him and tried to mess around and talk to him.. he ignored me again and ran away.. he wanted nothing to do with me..

whatever.. i dont deserve a lil bro.. im a horrible big bro.. i dont expect him to ever want to talk to me again.. as long.. as whatever hes doing makes him happy.. i guess all i can do is be happy too.. 

yeah i still cry that i lost someone who i thought would be a friend for life.. i honestly believed that.. but im trying to hard to get him back.. but i think it's too late for that.. 

lil bro.. you dont ever have to talk to me again.. i understand.. just.. be happy.. make rational decisions.. ill always be here for you if you ever need me.. but i can see that youre life is better without me anyways.. just.. take care.. i miss you and love you.. 

bye lil..

now i really have no one in apo for me.. it's just.. me..

no line affiliation.. whatever.. i never have anyone for me anyways..

GOING! GOING! Gone.

so much to explain but i have a midterm tomorrow.. so it looks like im not going to say much..

the most emotional time of my life

i am not the type of person who usually gets emotional and shit.. im not the type of girl who gets sad, angry, or whatever.. for me.. im usually happy..

this winter quarter, ive been crying every night.. getting mad every night.. im confused every night.. all because i get yelled at by ivan..

all his yelling is stressing me out and his crazy behavior and blaming his actions on me is stressing me out

i hate it

i just want him to leave me the fuck alone

life lesson learned, dont move in with a significant other

well until of course.. marriage